Counting Beans

It's amazing how much more I learn about myself when life is slower, b/c I actually have time to think.

The other day a friend offered me a bag of coffee beans. She had received them as a gift, but doesn't own a grinder. I knew we had plenty of coffee on hand and instead I offered to grind them for her. EJ thought I was crazy. I know it's messy and a bit ridiculous, but you see he just can't fully understand.

I am not currently able to offer to DO anything for anyone. Yes, it may seem silly, but I can grind coffee beans while sitting down. I can DO something for a dear friend who at the moment is helping our family in a multitude of ways. It's not so much that I feel guilty or want to repay her, b/c quite frankly I don't think it will ever even out. But it did my heart so much good to grind those beans. And now when she drops off some items from the store that she voluntarily offered buy for us, I will have something for her.

Do I "do" things for Christ b/c I feel guilty or b/c His perfect love causes this response in me? It feels so much better when its the later! Surely I can never repay him, why am I constantly trying.

And yes, my hands might smell like coffee for the rest of the day, but I'll just pretend I am hanging out at Starbucks. And please don't drop off your coffee beans or send me your photos for a photo album, at least not until I finish Mason's.