Two and Three

Four kids is A LOT. I am fairly certain I felt that way about 3, after welcoming Ryan home. I know it's an adjustment. I am giving myself plenty of grace, but it still doesn't change how it feels. I am beginning to think it's more the fact we have a 2 yr and 3 yr old than the total of 4 kids.

I am treading water most of the day and trailing behind 2 little loves, who leave a disaster wherever they go. 2 years and 3 years old is quite the combo. I love it (most of the time) but it's exhausting.  I am glad they are such buddies even if it's more like partner's in crime ;)

Even with the older two pulling their weight, it feels like I am constantly preparing or cleaning up, and everything takes longer. I am always a step or 20 behind. I don't like that feeling. I also don't like being late. Since Avery came home, I am late for everything! I am realizing 3 months in, that a lot of this will not change with "adjustment," perhaps it will feel more normal, but the piles of laundry, dishes, papers and toys won't really decrease, if anything, they will increase!

The bed-time routine has been the hardest change for me. It used to be that ej OR me could put the boys to bed which allowed us to take turns on a regular basis and get other things done before collapsing on the couch. Even if it meant finishing the dinner dishes, folding laundry, paper work, etc. Now it takes both of us (unless the other is out) so that other stuff doesn't get done. Some of that has to do with Avery, but it mostly has to do with the age gap and the fact that one of us spends a little extra time reading with Owen after the other 3 are in bed. Plus, bed time is a little later than in past years mostly because it takes longer to do everything. (did I say that already?)

Needless to say the basics are getting done. Everyone is being fed and bathed and clothed. The boys are doing well in school. I really can't complain.

And then today, Avery starting saying "RYAN" and well, that just makes it all totally worth it ;)

 

Twins today, just b/c these shirts already existed in our wardrobe
and it's way fun to match with my girly on Halloween :) 

And let's face it, the boys don't like getting their picture taken unless it's for a really good reason.

Soaking Wet

This is how much she LOVES the bath tub. She helped herself in, before we got her clothes off. 

Man, have times changed! She was TERRIFIED for the first 20 or so baths, plus she would not have physically managed that on her own. You would think after having 3 boys, we'd have seen it all. Well, this is definitely a first. All we could do was laugh ;) Boy, did her diaper weigh a ton!

Halloween Party

This weekend, my parents threw quite a party. My Uncle and his wife and my 3 cousins' families were all in attendance. It's a rare treat when we can all be together and SO FUN!

Aunt Lissa, Uncle Alex and Tripp.

Mom and Dad made a little fun house in their unfinished attic.

Glow in the dark balloons, prizes hidden in spaghetti "worms,"

The mosh pit ;) and music for dancing.

My Uncle worked his charm and managed to win Avery over. Not everyone can hold that girl ;)

Second cousins and yummy party food

Most of the kids parents carved pumpkins.

 

Now if only Owen could decide on a costume idea. We are running out of time.

Buddies

Oh my heart!

3 Months with Us

 How can this picture already be a month old? 

And how is it her gotcha was 3 months ago?

via Glorrie Photo

Lots to update. PTL! She continues to surprise us with new things almost daily. Her personality is really starting to shine. Good and bad ;) I must take a series of photos of her facial expressions. They are too much! Her giggle causes me to belly-laugh!

Sleeping:

She is sleeping great at night and at nap time. I get the best snuggle times when I sing her songs before bed. It is a honor to sing "Jesus loves Avery" every night and it makes me stop and thank Him each time. I hold her and pray for her. I wish I could say I pray for her more than that, but I am a busy momma ;)

Eating: 

She is eating so much more and a better variety of foods! And drinking a lot too. We reintroduced wheat and it didn't change a thing. Alleluia. Oat is the newest grain tested and that seems to be fine too. I am adding a lot of high caloric/fatty ingredients whenever I can. She drinks Pedisure with whole milk, several times a day. I add heavy cream to her dairy foods like smoothies, yogurt, creamy soups and ice cream. Coconut or Olive oil to anything that is not a diary product (even applesauce). She has recently started eating more table food including meats. She is living up to her new Irish "Fogarty"name with a love for beef stew (which none of my boys will eat).

Physical:

She is taking a lot more steps. Crawls at lightening speed. Can climb the stairs, climb onto the couch and coffee table :( Weezle out of 5 point harness in her high chair and to stand up :( Climbs onto the open dishwasher door and dryer door. Life with a 2 year old! Remember how she was barely sitting up 3 months ago? It's awesome!

Medically:

The short term plan from GI Dr. seems to be making our life (number of dirty diapers) easier. I don't see how it's really getting to the root gut of the problem, but we have a follow-up on Nov 7th, so I am fine with things for now. She does not seem to be affected or bothered by her condition. I know I am being very vague, sorry, it's pretty personal and since it's not about me, I will keep it vague for now. I am happy to answer questions regarding special needs adoption at anytime, if you email me privately.

Emotionally:

She is happy oh so happy, except when I am cooking dinner. Isn't that wonderfully normal ;) She loves her brothers and wants to be with them now and they don't seem to mind. The novelty of her has not worn off. It's like she just arrived. Seriously, she gets cheers for whatever she does.

We have dropped her off for Sunday nursery 2 weeks in a row. She has done great both times. EJ has done it, I have yet to try. That will be the next step in preparation for the gym nursery.

Speech:

She has a random assortment of words that she uses regularly: hi, thank you, dog (sounds like Duke dog, very appropriate), poop (also appropriate), Uh-oh, ouch and moon. She signs, "more," "please," and "all done." She waves hi and bye and blows kisses (to anyone- mailman, etc)

Overall, we are amazed and thankful. It is like watching a baby grow in fast forward. I am thankful that we were able to witness so much of her life that at 2 yrs. we could have easily missed. I am thankful we could give her the grace and freedom to catch up. I can tell the terrible 2s are right around the corner ;) Which means developmentally she is doing fantastic (at least I will keep telling myself that).

 via Glorrie Photo

Huge Progress

Crazy how I just posted about wishing she'd walk. Look at her go! 

We are ALL so excited!! PTL

End of a Long Weekend

After 7 days of rainy weather, we were so excited yesterday, to see the sun.

 She has clearly grown. Her feet reach(barely) the pedals! Yay!

You may notice the duck tape on her knees. She is ruining too many pants with her crawling ;)

I KNOW I should be enjoying the crawling stage, but I am over it. I just want her to walk already.

EJ did not have off yesterday, but did make it home early enough for some football playing. Good friends of ours have 3 boys. The perfect ages for ours. Fun times! Avery and I cheered from the sidelines.

Sweet Faces

Last day for this. Wish it had been a prettier week. 

Nothing but rain and clouds ALL week. Tired of me yet?

  Today’s prompt is: FACES (be sure to include yours!)

 

Self shot on my iphone while on hayride to the pumpkin patch

Pumpkin Patch

 

Ryan's preschool class went to the pumpkin patch today, despite soggy ground and dreary weather.

My parents joined us. It's kind of become a tradition ;) 2011, 2010

I couldn't have done it this year without them. Carrying Avery and juggling a pumpkin and making sure Ryan had a good time required more than 1 adult.

 They picked a good one!

At Home

Today’s prompt was “Creative”

I don't think she meant for me to take it literally, but I do enjoy being creative and my children know this. This is not an unusual sight for them to see. I am at work in the dining room (again). Surely adding 1 new silhouette requires a whole new wall arrangement ;)

Always Something to Say

He talks NON-STOP!!!

via GlorriePhoto

I had to write this one down (on the way to preschool yesterday).

"Levi, Booker, Colin and Avery are my best friends."

Avery made the list!! He and Mason must have had a falling out that morning or he would be on the list too ;)
I'd love to think A and R are moving in that direction. Ryan still has lots of issues with her and can be rather impatient when he doesn't get an immediate response of help from me b/c she needs something. He is only 3 after all. But he does show her lots of affection.
I don't know if the feeling is mutual. Avery is not usually the one to initiate the "love" its usually more of a bracing herself for what's about to come ;)
I think they are off to a good start. Especially as the gap in their age closes more with Avery catching up developmentally.

Special Dinner Guests

We were beyond thrilled to have the Waldman's (we met in China) for dinner tonight. They were passing by. The visit was much too short, but it was so great to squeeze their necks and know they get it.

 

It was so fun to meet their middle child. He and Ryan really hit it off.

I don't know whether Avery recognized them, but she warmed up really quickly, so she must have had some recollection.

Loved having the girls together again.

Lunch with My Littles

Today’s Prompt: EVERYDAY MOMENT 

 (you doing something that is a routine part of your days)

Aunt Lissa and Tripp just happened to be here, so I didn't have to set up my camera.

I like this one best b/c it shows just how eager Avery is to eat. NOT!

Including Myself

I've read ideas like this before, will attempt to do it this week.

Today’s prompt is: MAKING MEMORIES 

(a picture that involves you enjoying an activity with your loved one)

Ryan loves anything crafty. Unfortunately, I have not been very crafty lately. Thankfully he is content with the basics: paper, glue, scissors and crayons.

 

See how Avery is clapping? We clap and cheer so much for her, now she is returning the favor.

Idea for handprint bats here

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words...

well, I don't actually have a thousand words yet, but The Lord is doing a great work in Avery and me and someday soon, I will easily have 1000 words to describe my daughter.

To everyone else this is a normal photo and not a very good one at that. It wouldn't win any awards for technique, composition or lighting. But to me, it's an amazing picture of Avery's old self and new self merging together.

First, she is sitting ON the grass. Her bare legs are touching the grass and she is not bothered. This may not seem like a big deal, but it's a reminder to me of the rapid changes we are witnessing daily.

Second, she is "W" sitting. It make the "daughter of an OT" in me, cringe each time. Her old self, but even in that we are seeing change. Her legs are much more relaxed and she doesn't always sit like that anymore.

Third, she is staring at the sun. Ever since our camping trip, she looks for the moon, but since she rarely sees it she is content to watch the sun. She really looks at the sun and not in a "hope I am getting tanner way", like her mother ;) I can't help but wonder how much exposure she really had outdoors. Not to mention the pollution doesn't allow for a clear view of the beautiful sky.

Fourth, her hands, they play with her shirt. It's a self-soothing mechanism for her. She does it when she is tired. She also does it when she is bored. Her first thought isn't to find a toy, it's to find her shirt. Something she likely always had with her, unlike a lovie or a toy.

Lastly, you can't see it very well, but she curls her tongue and slightly puckers her lips. Another self-soothing mechanism, mostly seen when she is tired.

While we were waiting for Avery to come home, one of my biggest fears was not being able to "read" her. I know there are plenty of discoveries still yet to come, for which I gladly welcome, but I can't help but be amazed at how quickly God has given me eyes to see my daughter. I understand and even anticipate her facial expressions, for which there are many. There is always a hint of sadness in my discoveries, but I don't allow myself to stay there long. These emotions will come and go and sometimes they bring me to tears, but more often they remind me of God's pursuing love. She is here now and that's all that matters.

403 words, pretty good start ;)

Divided

 Our family kind of had two different weekends.

The littles were with me and the older 2 with EJ.

On Saturday, I got to introduce Avery to a dear friend visiting from out of town. Sadly, I didn't take any pictures. We also spent some extra time with my mom which was a treat. After that, the kids and I had a low key weekend. We played outside a lot and went for too long walks. Who knew it would be in the 90s the first weekend in Oct.?!?

 

This morning we walked to get breakfast. Ryan was too congested to bring to church :( 

 

The other 3 and my dad, went to a football game.

We reconvened this afternoon after Owen's baseball game. Phew! Time to start another week.

Go Dukes, Eagles and Broncos!! just had to throw that out there ;) Happy football fans at our house.

Double Cuteness

On Wed. I had the privilege of watching my nephew for a good part of the day. I cheated a little and had EJ come home to help with lunch ;) Ryan was at preschool for 3 of the hours, so Avery had a new play mate. We went for a long walk so Tripp could take a morning nap while the cleaners cleaned my house! EJ insisted we get help with the cleaning while we adjust to life with 4. He is such a smart man ;)

I even managed to have them all napping at the same time!

 

I couldn't resist putting him in my sling. Oh, my heart!

It was very busy, but I loved it! 

Your prayers are very much appreciated.

The trip went smoothly. I enjoyed the peace and quiet ;)The Dr. who I was supposed to see got stuck in surgery so I saw someone else.
He was very kind and considerate of the fact that Avery was very anxious. He kept mentioning that she had already been through so much and he doesn't want to be too aggressive with invasive tests. He seemed genuinely concerned for her whole self and not just the GI issues. I didn't realize I needed to hear that until he said it. God is good!
No huge surprises. We have a short term plan. Got to start somewhere.
We will return again for a surgeon consulate and likely a barium test to see what her insides are doing.

On a positive note, she has gained a pound, we are thrilled! It's not much, but we are headed in the right direction. The DR said to try wheat again. He doesn't think that is her issue. Hooray for more food options.

Avery did not get too upset at the appt and clearly knows I am the one she can turn too ;) PTL

Please Pray

This afternoon, Avery and I are driving to a nearby city for a GI appt. For whatever reason, I am feeling very pessimistic about the appt. I am fearful this will lead to more questions than answers. I have very little history to offer this Dr for what is a very rare and often mistreated birth defect. Please pray I would trust God first and foremost. Pray for adequate time with the Dr., wisdom for the him and humility if he needs to point us elsewhere.

Everyday Cuteness

Pitiful

We received TWENTY meals after Avery's arrival. 

3 per week, minus our beach week. 

Isn't that incredible? What a HUGE blessing to me and my family.

As a result, I have rarely cooked on the week days. 

So thankful we delayed this sadness for 2 months!

 

It's a little difficult to move about the kitchen and cook with an unsteady 2 yr old holding onto my pants and crying. I'd like to see the top chefs try that on a TV showdown ;) Plus, you must add 3 rowdy boys who are likely pestering each other!

SO many people ask what's the biggest difference from 3 to 4. IT'S SO LOUD! Avery is not even saying real words yet, but she makes herself heard.

Mom and Dad took the boys to the State Fair on Monday afternoon and evening. It's tradition! EJ's first comment after work was about the silence. We also got to go on a long walk after dinner with Avery in the stroller. We completed sentences! Amazing! As close to a date as we will see for awhile ;)

Still trying to soak up the moments. Time flies.

Stepping Back

The bonding and attachment process following an adoption is unique to each individual. There is no specific guide to guarantee a child will feel loved and secure and safe in their new family and certainly no set time frame for which this will occur.

In the beginning, it was very important that Avery see EJ and I as her ONLY providers, comforters and authority figures, to name a few! Our family and friends have been so gracious and patient.

We have said "no" to lots of activities and obligations this fall as a family and individually. We are still very very busy. I hate to think what we had done if we had said "yes" more often.

I have made some small sacrifices to my schedule for this very reason. I would do it again in a heart beat, but that doesn't mean it's easy. 

In the spring, I decided I would no longer be on the steering committee for our Women's weekly Bible study. I also decided I would not attend the studies either. SAD! I have been going for NINE years! It was often the 1 thing I had for "me" in a whole week. It was a JOY each week, I miss it for sure!

The other thing I put on hold, was going to the gym. Sure, I could get up at the crack of dawn, but I wasn't sure how Avery would sleep initially. Thankfully that hasn't been an issue. My membership was "frozen" until mid Oct. I miss working out. It's kinda of crucial to keep my chronic muscle pain at bay, and I was nervous to give it up, but I have felt fine. PTL! I am mostly worried about making it part of my routine again. I was finally in the habit of going the few months before we traveled and then abruptly stopped.

by Glorrie Photo

All this to say, it's October already! Avery is doing fantastic with attachment and bonding, but it also hasn't really been tested. I am nervous that the attachment doesn't run very deep. While I want her to be okay without me, I don't really want her to be okay. Something I really haven't worried about before with my boys. We will continue to reassure her of our love and commitment, but we are sensing it's time to start "letting go" a little (much sooner than I expected). This photo Jenn took seemed appropriate, don't you think?

Sunday morning nursery is the main priority at this point. We are easily distracted in the worship service with her busy-self nearby ;) Next, will be the gym childcare.

Today, my mom watched Avery and Ryan while I took the older 2 to the dentist. This was the first time I left her (awake) with someone other than EJ. Mim stayed with her while she napped. Avery did great and she was so happy to see me again. She also didn't want me to put her down. Which kind of made cooking dinner extra exciting ;)

Who knows maybe EJ and I will go on a date sometime soon! Thankfully I have not felt tied down. I have been eager to "be" with her and my family. I am grateful I feel this way!