Mim meets Avery

EJ's mom came for a visit to meet Avery. She patiently waited an invitation. Between her travels and our busy weekends this was the first to work out. The boys were SO excited to see her and Avery "warmed" up relatively quickly. Mim was great at letting Avery call the shots ;)

 

She spoiled the boys with the purchase of 2 band looms so they could partake in the newest fade and craze. Even EJ got hooked. We have rubber bands and bracelets coming out of our ears. It kept them busy all weekend and I was grateful not to be the one "teaching" them how to do it.

 

Owen had two games on Sunday. 

All of us went to the first game and then left EJ as solo fan for nap time

  

Sunday night, Mim babysat the boys so EJ, Avery and I could attend a dinner party thrown in Avery's honor. EJ's boss planned and hosted the dinner! So Sweet, but I will confess I was NERVOUS. A dozen coworkers/spouses met Avery for the first time (several cancelled at the last minute). She handled the attention fairly well, although kept moving the entire time. She gets really busy when she is nervous. It was nice not having the boys since no other children were invited and Ryan certainly didn't need to witness the oohs and ahhs Avery received. We had a delicious dinner and it was lovely to see the support from EJ's office.

 

The weekends go by much faster with 4 kids in the house ;)

Morning Smile

After 8 weeks home, there is still some pushing and shoving to be the first in her room in the morning. She is SO DELIGHTED to see us. Praise the Lord.

Making Memories

We were recently gifted a family photo session. Oh my heart! 

Our friend Jenn Gorrie from Glorrie Photo has a huge heart for orphans. One way (there are many) she participates in orphan care is by using her gift of photography. 

ANYONE can do orphan care. Seriously! I have seen so many creative ways throughout this past year and each one a total blessing to us and our daughter. 

Jenn doesn't even live in our home town, but she made it happen and we are so thankful!!

My heart is happy. Oh, there are so many good ones! IF my children were more cooperative, there would be even more :( Jenn was so patient and I am grateful. 

Some will be used for future surprises, but here is a sneak peek.

 

via Glorrie Photo

via Glorrie Photo 

I know we will treasure these pictures for always. Thank you, Jenn! 

Avery will not have a baby album in the same way her brothers do. I will put a book together for her and include the pictures we received from the orphanage, but emotionally I am not ready. I can't bring myself to look back at her "before" pictures. While we were waiting for her, I couldn't keep my eyes off them and now they bring me grief and sadness. I can't really explain it in writing. Just wanting to remember where I am today.

Lifesaver

I don't usually advertise specifics on my blog, but this one might help some other moms.

 

We continue to struggle with feeding our girl. She is not gaining weight (the stomach infection could be the cause) and she doesn't eat much of anything. Thank goodness for these noodles. They are SO easy to prepare and the only thing she consistently agrees to eat. They are pre-cooked, so I just drop them in boiling water for 1.5 minutes, rinse with cold water, add a little low sodium chicken broth (I also add a TB of oil for more fat) and her meal is ready. Sometimes I throw frozen veggies in the boiling water first. She doesn't love that. The only downside is the stickiness, quite a mess to clean up.

If anyone has any high fat/calorie gluten-free suggestions, I am all ears. She likes peanut butter, but I can't come up with anything she will eat that I can put it on. Sometimes a banana will work, but she hates all gluten-free breads and crackers.
We are heading to the GI specialist next week. Her appt was bumped up by 4 weeks. Alleluia!

Trouble

This is one way to reach the mailbox. Yes, he is standing on his bike!

 

I am always telling Ryan to stop growing. And he says he can't. The other day he told me he has to get bigger so he can reach the frozen yogurt machine handle at our favorite dessert spot. What big aspirations my 3rd child has ;)

Avery may not walk on her own (yet) , but the girl can get around.

Yes, I LOVE dressing a girl! (everyone asks)

The two of them spells T.R.O.U.B.L.E. 

The other day, EJ caught them holding hands in the car.

I am loving having an even number of children once again.

2 months

We celebrated 2 months with Avery, at the airport. This time we were with cameras at the bottom of the escalator. It was a huge privilege to welcome home Charlie and Mollie! Praise God the Phillips are all together.

 

Mollie and Avery are only 1 month apart in age. So fun!

A Fighter

We are on Day 9 of giving Avery 3 different medicines. She has an infection in her stomach. We are praying this does the trick. She hates the medicines. 3 vials in the morning and 2 after dinner. Even after 9 days (5 to go) she kicks and screams her way through it. One of us usually works up a sweat. She is a strong 20 lb fighter. Thankfully she still falls into my arms for comfort when it's over.
I will never know exactly what she has already fought in her little life, but I am so glad she did!
She is definitely going to give us a run for our money ;-)

I will spare you a photo of the medicine taking, but this is a good pout face that
she quickly gives us when something isn't going her way.

Overheard at the Lunch Table

"Avery,  I love your beautiful eyes from China." - Ryan

Bed Head

This momma is very excited to report, Avery woke up with her first "bed head".

 Her hair is getting longer!

 

I know I will miss the ease of this hairdo, but I am celebrating anyway ;)

 

She gets called a "he" or "boy"almost every day ;)

Happy Birthday, EJ!

Oh, the celebration for an old man just isn't as much fun as it once was. I called EJ at 3 today and told him since it was his birthday he got to choose his own adventure. Choose between going to Meet the Teacher Night at school or picking Owen up from baseball with the other 3 kids and putting them to bed. He was thrilled with his choices. He is one lucky man ;)

I did feed him well before he went to meet the teachers! Spaghetti and clam sauce and homemade apple pie. I haven't been cooking or baking much lately, everyone was surprised. I was only partly offended by their surprise.

Avery really enjoyed the singing. It was sad to celebrate without Owen.

 

Here is a look at our messy eater. Good thing it was bath night.

Happy Birthday, Wonderful Hubby and Father of 4 :) I love you. Glad we get to grow old together.

3rd Camping Trip

This is the 3rd time our family attended our church's camping trip. I REALLY thought long and hard about whether to stay back with Avery. In the end, we went, I didn't want to miss out. Probably not the best reason to go. 

I had so many mommy duties that I didn't really enjoy myself or my family. Avery and I should have waited 1 more year. A toddler on the cusp of walking alone is not so much fun at a camp site. Live and Learn.

There were A LOT of families this year. The weather during the day was perfect and gorgeous. The overnight weather was COLD!!

 She really did great considering the temperature got really low over night.
Everyone loved all her cold weather pink. Including her precious UGGS. Thanks PY!

We had a camp fire going quite a bit, for warmth.

Roasting hot dogs for lunch

She tried on Ryan's helmet. I took her for a ride on a skateboard laying around ;) Well, we may have ridden together. It was quite a sight. There weren't a ton of options for her b/c she isn't walking on her own. There was usually 1 to 6, 9/10 yr old girls hanging around her saying "she is so cute." I am not used to hanging out with 1 girl, let alone 6! It was a new experience for both of us :)

 Owen played sports a majority of the time. He is in the red. Mason in the bright green.

 She napped for about an hour on Saturday. Yes, we brought a pack-n-play.

So did Daddy ;)

The parts I enjoy the most about camping didn't really happen this year. The pace was always hurried and I didn't get to be very creative with camp food and I hardly spoke to my friends or EJ for that matter. Someday he and I will sit around the camp fire together but of course we will just be wishing our kids were little again ;)

1st Day of Preschool

Ryan's first day of preschool was Friday. He met his teachers and most of his classmates two days before. He had a great morning. When I asked what part he liked best, he said, "everything." He will be going to preschool at our church 2 mornings a week.

 

The brother comparison ;)

It's a little strange being back in the preschool routine. He is excited to be at school like his brothers.

 Helping him learn the drop-off routine

Our church preschool has grown quite a bit. 

3 years ago, Mason's class had 7, now, Ryan's class has 11.

He has the same sweet teacher that Mason had. 

The older 2 were very sweet to ask him about his 1st day.

A New Season

We currently only have 1 playing 1 sport right now! Wow! Mason didn't handle soccer well last year with the start of KG, so we opted not to sign him up for anything until basketball starts. He only realized this yesterday. I don't think he is disappointed, just shocked b/c it's normally part of our fall ;)

Owen is playing baseball, AGAIN! He had 2x a week practice all summer and Sunday was his first game. I didn't get pictures at the game. It was HOT and Avery's 1st game and I couldn't see past/over the chain link fence (ugh). He is playing on a non- travel, travel team. Meaning games are in different counties nearby, not just the LLpark we are used too. He practices at least 2x a week and plays 2 games every other Sunday. It's nice having every other weekend off. 

This is slightly more serious version than we are used too. The players are more serious, the coaches more serious and the practices are no joke. He is up against some stiff competition and I don't mean the other teams. He has to earn his place on the field, which he really hasn't had to do before. This does not discourage him, he only works harder. If only he felt that way about school ;)

This is my competition :) Good grief! 

And that's just from practice. He said he even had dirt in his teeth ;)

He seems to be enjoying the 4th grade. His teacher is new to our school, but her fantastic reputation has preceded her. I am excited for Owen, last year there wasn't much creativity put forth to his learning. The bare minimum was met. I am hopeful this year will be better.

Learning to Play and Dance

My mind does several little dances ALL. DAY. LONG.

First, a dance between being thrilled at my daughter's progress and sadness at how little it is taking to bring on these amazing changes. (Please know, I mean no disrespect to her orphanage or caretakers by sharing my thoughts/heart. We were told there were 300 kids at her orphanage. That alone explains a lot.)

We are teaching her to play. It is apparent she had very little exposure to toys and probably very little freedom to move around. We kick and roll balls, push cars around, stack blocks, dance, play music, etc. We have tea parties and feed her baby dolls ;) I had to teach her to hug her baby! Now she does it every time she holds her. She has also learned the meaning of "go, go, go" b/c we have races in our household for almost anything! She gives "high fives", blows kisses, waves "hi" and "bye." Each of these skills only required us showing her once or twice. She just needed someone to show her.
I thought watching my boys grow and learn and reach milestones was amazing. There is no comparison to what we are seeing now. I am amazed and in awe of what God is doing in her little brain and body. Of course, this doesn't come without a deeper sadness for those children who are still waiting. It's one thing to read about institutional effects it's another to see it first hand. She, without a doubt NEEDED a family. THEY ALL DO.

Second, I thank God every day that he "matched" us with such a young child. Our age range (by our choosing) was 1-4 yrs. Avery just turned 2. There is no denying that age makes a difference for bonding and attachment. I know God would have given us what we needed to love an older child and I am tempted to feel guilty because there are SO MANY older children waiting and waiting and waiting, but I am choosing to be thankful and trust this is the daughter He had for us.

The most frequent dance in my brain is the one that questions what is next. We've adopted, now what? We certainly can't adopt them all. We did not enter this adoption journey foolishly thinking we'd solve the orphan crisis. Through this whole process I couldn't help but wonder how I would feel about the children we left behind. Fortunately and not so fortunately b/c we didn't visit Avery's orphanage, I don't have specific faces ingrained in my mind. Even though I can see plenty on my agency's website, pictures don't have quite the same impact as real life. While ONE LESS does make a difference, I can not deny that there are 148ish million orphans in the world. SO now what? I am no closer to an answer than I was a year ago. Thankfully, I don't need the answers, I just need to keep asking Him.

Gorgeous Weather

We are enjoying incredible weather.

 Spent some time at my parent's house. Avery's first visit.

 She is not a fan of grass ;)

She is SLOWLY warming up to her grandparents.

They are graciously waiting :)

1st Tooth Gone

Mason raced off the bus to share his exciting news. His tooth was loose. What he meant was, he had been wiggling his loose tooth all day at school and thought it was about to fall out. Well, he couldn't leave it alone and Owen eventually yanked it out while we were riding in the van. The tooth popped out and went flying. Fortunately, they found it on the floor of the van. Thankfully Mason was excited and not mad at Owen. He can't wait to tell his classmates on Monday!

1 Month Home

Avery's bath time experience has come a long way. She was terrified for the first 3 weeks. Now she only cries when someone else gets a turn in the bath tub ;) She loves her tub time. She doesn't yet move around in the tub much, but she recognizes the word splash and uses her hands to splash. She likes when water is being poured and tolerates it on her face.

Normally bath time is hectic b/c the boys also need turns. She still bathes alone for health reasons. Last night the boys squeezed in a little extra football playing time with EJ, so I took advantage of the quiet house and snapped some pics of Avery.

So many people ask me how it's going. My usual quick response is, "4 kids is a lot and it's crazy busy." I am exhausted by the end of the day. Honestly, the transition we are experiencing from an adoption perspective, has been relatively easy. I do not take this blessing for granted. I have been thanking God each day for how well things are going. She is doing really well and I know this is not always the case. All 5 of us are finding it easy to love her.
The biggest adjustment is the addition of another family member. It would likely be just as difficult, if not more, if I had given birth to a fourth. My time is split in 4 directions, more food, more laundry, more mess, more disputes to break up.
Thankfully it's getting easier the more I know Avery. It takes less brain cells to guess what she needs or wants or is going to do next. Plus her nap time is increasing a little each day and there are no tears either! Amazing!
Last night, when I peeked in on her sleeping, she truly looked relaxed. The smile she gives us in the morning when we get her up, is priceless. I need to remember to get a picture.
God has been gracious to us. I can't tell you how many times a day I think, she is the perfect fit. Praise Him!

The Little Ones

Their friendship is beginning to blossom. Their relationship has been the trickiest part of bringing Avery home. Avery did not like Ryan very much and I can only assume it was b/c she viewed him as competition with her momma time and because his love is very smothering and she wanted to do her own thing. She warmed up to Mason much faster.
Ryan has struggled b/c suddenly he wasn't the baby anymore. I was carrying someone else around and not at his beckon call.
They are only 16 months apart in age and the competition at times has been fierce. The gap is bigger as of now b/c of Avery's institutional delays, but she is doing her darnedest to catch up and keep up with him. He can be very helpful and sweet with her, but he can also be too rough and quick to get frustrated with her.
I don't know if it's timing or the fact that the older two are in school, but I am seeing a change in her tolerance of him. Things that bothered her before are no longer and she is now letting him hold her hand and hug her without resistance. Ryan is THRILLED and has noticed the change.
I am SO thankful for this as we will be spending LOTS of time together ;)
I must confess my days are a whole lot easier with the older 2 in school. I feel a little guilty about that, but I am grateful for the time and attention I can now offer Ryan and Avery.

4th and 1st Grades

They were both eager to get to school. I wonder how long that will last.

 Their idea, not mine.

 We ALL went to the bus stop. The walk home felt strange. 

The three of us had a good morning together.

 A big group this year. Two weren't even there this a.m.

Both had good days. The afternoon was wild. Gonna need a strategy for homework time.