Birthday Week

Yangcai left right before our birthday marathon. Our busy birthday month, did cross my mind when we said "yes" to hosting. I knew it would mean less thought and planning put into some birthdays. Really, is it every convenient to invite a perfect stranger into your home for a month? I am finding that for me being busier with a full house helps keep my priorities straight. Not having time to overthink and over plan can be a blessing :) The days of my fancy party throwing are limited and that's okay.

Owen's birthday was the same day as the Run 4 the Fund, so his birthday breakfast did not include EJ and was pretty basic.

You know you are getting old, when you have only item on your birthday wish list and it is expensive enough to be split by your parents and grandparents. Ha! He has wanted a go-pro for a long time. His hobby right now is "mini hoop" trick shot videos with friends. The first time he wore his chest strap gear a little kid asked him if he was a "you-tuber." We have been laughing about it ever since.

He celebrated with his two (local) best friends with trampoline arena and wings and basketball game watching at a sports bar, with EJ.

We had a mini celebration for Aunt Lissa's birthday which included Owen's name in the candle blowing.

A dear friend brought me flowers a few days after Yangcai left. She is a faithfully praying friend who knows first hand the pains of saying goodbye to a host child. Grateful to be known and loved and prayed for!

 

EJ surprised me with tickets to see Third Day in concert. He knows me SO well :)

When my day came and I was celebrated with a thoughtfully planned meal cooked/grilled by EJ with cheesecake (my favorite) for dessert. Each of my kids celebrate me in subtle ways each a perfect reflection of who they are. Being a mom for 12 years has lowered my bar for my own birthday and I am genuinely ok with that. That hasn't always been the case, I am glad God continues to work on me. Choosing to be thankful in the little things really does make a difference in my heart.

15th Anniversary

Looking back on these photos makes my heart so happy. EJ and I had the awesome privilege of escaping for a long weekend in early Dec for our anniversary. My parents held down the fort and we are forever grateful. We took a 6 am train and arrived around lunch time at Grand Central Station on Dec 11th. The weather was unseasonably warm just the way I had prayed it would be ;) We enjoyed a steady mid 50s even as the low, the difference from day high and night low eerily the same. Crazy! It certainly allowed for much pleasanter walking lots and lots of miles each day. 

It certainly felt strange to traveling without kids. We thoroughly enjoyed the freedom that allowed. Our meals were whenever and wherever we pleased and it was nice not be awakened by children in the middle of the night (which doesn't always happen but with 4, the odds are much higher) or the early morning for that matter.

The city was very crowded, partly because of the holidays and I think the warm weather increased those numbers. One of our favorite parts was just being able to hold hands. A rarity in this stage of life with a 4 and 5 year usually clamoring between us.

It's been an anniversary tradition to get a photo of us together with a tree. 

This is the lobby of our hotel, The Roosevelt. 

This is the tree at Rockefeller Center

There were Christmas decorations around every corner, so beautiful.

We saw the Broadway Musical "Matilda." It was awesome, we both enjoyed it and we got to spy on a college acquaintance who played one of the leading roles. SO funny!

We walked most of the weekend, however did take the subway to the 9-11 Memorial and then to Chelsea Market. The memorial is beautiful and amazing and sad all at the same time. It was an honor to be there in person and to pay our respects to those who lost their lives and their loved ones. The fountains are breathtaking.

Sharing a crape in Chelsea Market for a mid-afternoon snack. I am so sure ;)

EJ really wanted to go up to the top of the Empire State Bldg. We didn't, maybe next time.

We had a wonderful weekend away. It was awesome to reconnect with each other and also reminisce on all the past blessings of our 15 years. While we were there, I came to the conclusion that BIG city life isn't exactly my ideal vacation. I was happy to be by EJ's side, but the hustle and bustle drained me. I am definitely getting more introverted the older I get.

Seeking His Joy

I have been learning a lot lately, through God's word, but I haven't figured out a way to sum it up here. Then recently I read this, "As the Word of Life takes deep root into our minds, hearts, and souls, we are able to live as aliens in this temporal land. We are empowered to stand firm in the pain and mess of life with compassion and love, joyful and expectant of Christ’s return." found here

When times are tough, it can become critical to put my joy in my salvation (I have had to do that) or else I will have no joy, but to put my joy in my salvation when things are "good" allows for totally different fruit. I am seeing that now.

I am becoming more aware of the power of faith (in Christ's return)...the power and strength God provides when I remember my true inheritance. "An inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled and unfading, kept in heaven for [me]" 1 Peter 1:4. This knowledge really does strengthen me to move forward with joy, not a superficial joy but a deep joy (peace-like) that is not dependent on my circumstances or other people. There is much freedom to be found and a peace that I find shocking at times. It's not because he takes away the pain and the mess, that we find joy, it's in the gift of Christ's return that gives us joy while we wait.

I wasn't sure how to use this truth in a practical way. Am I supposed to repeat it over and over in my head all day long, so that I don't forget? That doesn't seem to happen. How will God make this truth a reality in my heart? Well, just asking those questions to myself and a few special friends, has done just that. It's been in my head a lot (thanks to the holy spirit) and it is sinking in. It also helps that our pastor is doing an AMAZING series of sermons called "A Living Hope" from 1 Peter, find them here, it's well worth your time.

God is teaching me how/when/why to place my joy and peace in Him, in the the hope of my salvation, in the work He accomplished on the cross. Those truths are unwavering unlike most of the things I would naturally think to put my hope in. This may not seem like a new concept to some of you, but to "know" it and "feel" it are totally different.

It is more typical of me to sense God at work in times of despair in the valley not on the mountain top. I am thankful for this new vantage point

EJ and I on top of Graves Mountain, down below were trees with rotten apples which we had planned on picking. Seemed fitting for this post.

"And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen." 1 Peter 5:10-11

Play "Therapy"

Having 1 child at home is easy, the 4th time around :) Avery has quickly adapted to being an only child, in the mornings. Now the trick is convincing her she is NOT one, in the afternoons and weekends! It's not been pretty. Our mornings are drastically different than our afternoons and both of us struggle at times to adjust to the pace and the noise.

I am loving the pace of life right now. A LOT of its very intentional on my part. It's been SO good for my heart, body and mind. I am exercising again, 3x a week!!! I am taking time to read a lot more. Bits of scripture in the morning, afternoon and evening and fiction books. I am back at Wellspring, my church's women's bible study which is such a joy and a treat.

Most of all, I am spending quality and quantity of time with this beautiful girl. We have 2 mornings each week without school or bible study. Which doesn't seem like much BUT I am realizing that most days we have plenty of afternoon time too, bc she doesn't nap everyday and her quiet time doesn't last as long as I'd sometimes like ;)

One thing you may already know, is that my girl doesn't stop moving and she doesn't "play" especially not by herself. She does a lot of wandering around and getting into mischief. A deadly combination if I "need" to get something done. Her attention span is growing, but it still requires a lot of help with the attention of an adult. To help my sanity, I have created a box (on the bottom of the shelf behind her in this picture) with labelled zip-loc bags of pres-school/sensory type activities. When she and I have free time or make free time she heads straight to her box. My hope is that eventually she will play with these things on her own!

 

Most of the items we already owned, I just packaged them a little different or added things to make them more age appropriate. These puzzle pictures are her favorite and she is now doing them without my help!

Thanks to my mom's suggestion I found a way to keep my petite one's feet on the floor. She uses a stool as a table and a chair ;)

Mom and I are fairly certain a lot of her emotional struggles are a result of sensory processing issues. I am trying to address that in our play time as well.

This bouncy bull is one way I can keep my fidgety girl on task as she learns her colors

We are also experimenting with Therapeutic Listening. She is not totally on board with wearing the special headphones, but if I sit with her and play she is happy. They look extra ridiculous because I added a washcloth to give her a snugger fit.

This time "sitting" with her is challenging for me. I don't sit much during the day and I can think of lots of other things I could be doing. It's a lesson for me, in self-control just as much as it is for her. We are bonding more and more every day. She is definitely benefitting from having me one-on-one. There is SO much for her to learn that my other 3 learned naturally. I am thankful for this new time in my schedule with 3 in school and I pray we see the benefits and if not, that we trust God's plan for her in her struggles.

He Is With Us

We have had these incredible lockers (from ballard designs) in our laundry room for a long time, but only this spring did I finally figure out how to organize the top. Each kids as a basket (from Target). The stuff inside rotates depending on the season. Last week we reorganized and cleaned and replaced baseball and swimming with soccer gear.

 

I painted these (on canvas) before the summer, but I had our next school year in mind. With one starting Middle School and another entering Elementary school it seemed fitting for these words to be the last they see. I don't know how often they actually look at them, but I pray they remind us ALL, who we belong too and who is with us ALWAYS!

I enjoyed making these and took my time over the course of several evenings. It's been a long time since I've used paints and not computer graphics!

Summer Study

Each summer, I attempt to do a small study with my kids. I pray about what to study and God usually makes it pretty clear what the subject matter should be. In college, a wise woman in my life, took time out of her busy family life to go through this book with me and another friend. I kept it. It's small but has tons of good scripture references about how powerful our words (good or bad) can be.

 

The kids and I are going through it slowly. I am repeating the theme of each chapter over a period of 3-4 days depending on the week. To help it have time to sink in. I don't read the whole book (it was not written for kids). I am using it as a jumping off point and usually only read a few sentences at a time mostly centered around the verse we are focusing on.

There is a certain someone in my crew that likes to color each time. So at least 1 time per theme I find a coloring page online to keep him interested. These are samples. We have covered: being a fountain of life, bragging, complaining, and this week we are studying reckless/careless speech.

 

I wish I could say they sit with eager anticipation each afternoon, but it's not usually like that. We will continue anyway, and I pray that these words sink down in their hearts and take root. Each lesson, is also a reminder of how much we NEED Jesus and the cross because despite our best efforts, we fail ALL the time. I am grateful for the time we have together and I think deep down they are too ;)

Cherished

This will be hard for some to read. I have debated writing it, but I must, because I might need to look back on this one day, to be reminded of the good stuff. I know their are strained marriages, broken marriages and women longing to be married or widowed. Not to mention the heartache Mother's day can bring to those who long to be mothers, lost their mothers, lost children, the list goes on.

 

Ephesians 5:28-30 "In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. ²⁹ For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, ³⁰ because we are members of his body."

EJ loves me well. Truly. I am not suggesting he is perfect or loves me perfectly, but I honestly see effort every day and this is amazing and humbling all at the same time. I do think some of his personality traits assist him ;) but overall, he chooses wisely, with the Lord guiding him.

On Mother's day, we had a plan. Not a huge, detailed one, just that he would fix dinner and I would be free from that daily routine. He involved the kids in the menu making- he is teaching them to learn about and know the lady of the house ;) Their future wives have my husband to thank.
Saturday evening he took the older 2 to get the needed items. Shrimp and Crab cakes two of my favorite, plus asparagus and key lime pie. Yum!

Plans changed. We had a houseful of guests from 12-4 on Sunday. We couldn't have been more thrilled. We met a baby cousin (4 weeks old) for the first time and saw cousins we haven't seen in awhile, all while giving thanks to the Lord that our newest baby cousin (1 week old) arrived safely despite his 6 week-early appearance.

We rolled with it. I have come a long way. 3 years ago I wouldn't have rolled with it with near as much flexibility. 4 kids will do that for a person, at least for me ;)

Despite our busy afternoon and extra eating ;) my hubby got to work and prepared a fabulous dinner for all of us. Owen lucked out with leftover bbq b/c he doesn't like most seafood.

During dinner, EJ took the opportunity to ask the kids what they like most about me. He didn't have to do that. He had been on his feet most of the day serving my extended family and now the 6 of us. But he did and after a little coaxing they each shared. The first round of compliments weren't very deep, "my cooking" "playing" etc. But then they kept offering more and more. Wow! What a blessed momma. Just when you think no one notices the million things you do every day, they really do. But it did take practice and time and reflection for them to say it out loud. I am thankful my husband is teaching our children these things because I am not the only one who will be blessed.

My most favorite compliment was just what I mentioned above, about being flexible. EJ noticed how stress-free I seemed with our change of plans and house full. The fact that he noticed and took the time to say something really encouraged my heart. I am grateful that the Lord is changing me and that he has given me a spouse who is nourishing my heart and cherishing me. I do not want to take these things for granted. To Him be the Glory.

Mother's Day

Some girls dream of being a mom. I dreamed of never growing up. Never in a million years, did I imagine myself a mom of 4. Now I can't think of anything else I'd rather be. And since Ryan guessed my age to be 89, on his preschool mother's day card to me, I suppose I really have grown up ;)

Sisters Celebrated

We had separate birthday celebrations, but I figured I might as well post them together.

The last two weeks of March felt insane. Between the beginning of spring sports and 3 birthdays in 5 days, we had full calendars. 

I got to celebrate Lissa, two times. Once for dinner at our house and also for donuts with her friends on her actual bday. I love having her nearby and am thankful we see each other as often as we do.

 

 The night before my bday, two friends took me out for dessert. I am blessed by their friendships and felt very loved by our time together. When I came home I found this waiting for me :)

 

On my birthday, my mom surprised us with donuts!

 Lissa and Tripp brought me a yummy mexican lunch!

EJ and I celebrated the following weekend with a dinner date!! Much needed after our busy two weeks. Thanks to Lissa and Alex for babysitting our crew!

14 years {Belated}

We celebrated our 14th wedding anniversary in Dec. We didn't get a picture, then, because our dinner date was sandwiched between basketball practice drop-off and pick-up. A couple of weeks ago, we we went out again and my sister took a few photos of us. It's a treasure to have intentional pictures of just the two of us!

Our 14th year definitely stretched us as we adjusted to being parents to four and more importantly a daughter. I know girls are different, bc I am one, but wow ;) It's hard to admit, but I miss being the only female in the house ;) I love that EJ adores his daughter, despite the stiff arm she gives him, but it has been an adjustment for me.
We faced many medical challenges over past year, a reminder of how our bodies are fragile and miraculous all at the same time. Thankfully EJ's back is much better, but he is still taking it easy and counting his blessings on the good days.
I am amazed and thankful at the team we have become and I am grateful that God continues to draw us to Himself and each other. 

Seeing the Light

It's really cold here. It could be worse, but it's plenty cold enough for me. Yesterday while the littles rested, I decided I needed to find a sliver of sunlight, hoping for added warmth. I would love if my house had more natural light, but we make the best of it. I moved a chair, it works ;)

After more than a year, I am finally desiring to be in God's word again. It was a dry year, following the spiritual high of adopting Avery. Hard to beat that.
I am beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It feels good to again find "rest" and "comfort" in His word. I have hated feeling like I am constantly digging deep in my back pocket for the Truth that I once read, rather than it being fresh from the pages. He faithfully carried me along the way and I am thankful that I could still feel him with me even when I couldn't glean much from His word.

While I was in my sunny spot reading from John and my SRT devo, I stopped on these verses and pondered a little longer.
^"After this many of his disciples turned back and no longer walked with him. So Jesus said to the Twelve, “Do you want to go away as well?” Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life, and we have believed, and have come to know, that you are the Holy One of God.” John 6:66-69

"Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life..." 
So why does it take me so long to come? Why is this not the first place I run? Why am I always pleasantly surprised when I do?

Thankful that "[God's] word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path." Psalm 119:105

Praying for Patience

This little one, requires every ounce of patience I have in me and that's not normally enough to get us through the day. Thankfully God continues to refill me. It boggles my mind that after 3 boys, she surprises me hourly with her mischief.

On this particular night, I needed to wash more than usual by hand, so I got out my gloves. Well, she was so curious about them and quickly got a stool (her personal helper) and "washed" dishes with me. It looks so cute in the pictures, mother and daughter, working side-by-side and if she hadn't spent nearly every second of her day with me, it would have felt like a hallmark moment, but instead I had to dig deep and remind myself, someday I will miss this.

Orphan Sunday

For the past several weeks, I have been planning "Orphan Sunday" for my church. With the encouragement, prayers and brainstorming of 2 friends and EJ (who had no choice), a mattress drive was launched last Sunday. I was the spokesperson for our orphan care ministry. With shaking hands, I stood up at both services and shared a personal testimony about my passion for orphan care as well as announced our plans to help a place in town that provides a network of services for local kids in foster care.

Early on in the planning, I tried to think of something that perhaps separates the orphan from other people in need. For example, poverty, hunger, sickness and homelessness (to name a few) can be associated with a much larger population of people. So, I narrowed my focus to bed time. 

It might seem silly, but sleep is very important to me and I make it a big priority for my kids. When I don't sleep well, my people hear about it. I certainly can't speak for all orphans or kids in foster care, but the majority have very different sleeping conditions and bedtime routines. I made a short movie that was played at church, to help show some differences.

I didn't just want to make folks sad or feel sorry for kid's without families. I wanted us to help with a tangible need (our church is good with this). I called a place in town, that serves kids in foster care to see if they needed any particular items. In my tiny brain, I was hoping for blankets or books, something bedtime oriented. God had bigger plans, she told me they could used some new mattresses!

If there is one thing I have learned on my orphan care journey it’s to pray big prayers.

Orphan care is not easy but it's so worth it. It's hard on the heart, the mind, and the body. The more I learn about orphans, the more I end up begging God to show me that he is with them just as His word promises. Psalm 33:4 “For the word of the Lord is right and true; he is faithful in all he does.” He has faithfully shown me his hand at work, each time I have asked to see him.

Imagine praying for a family? Now that's a big prayer!

God goes to great lengths to bring us home to himself. He does not leave us alone and he doesn’t leave the orphan alone either. He invites us to participate in their care and by doing so we are richly blessed.

There are currently over 5000 kids in foster care in Virginia alone!!! United Methodist Family Services, serves 35 kids in their residential program and about 80 kids living in foster homes. They currently have a need for new twin mattresses, waterproof mattress covers and twin sheets. My hope is that our church family can join in orphan care together and that perhaps more hearts will be softened to those without families.


Please join me in praying! I am excited to see how the Lord works.

Connecting

On Friday morning, before the kids were awake, EJ and I hit the road. Thanks to my accommodating and kindhearted parents, we were able to go (away) to an amazing 2 day conference for adoptive and foster parents and/or professionals.

  

Even though sitting in chairs for 7 hrs had it's challenges, we limped walked away with some great insight into connecting with a child from a hard place. We also recognized plenty of our own personal quirks and nudged each other a lot about our boys too ;) We still have plenty to learn and A LOT of practice ahead of us, but we are thankful for these new resources to help us. 

At the end of the conference, most of the speakers came forward for some final comments. The crowd did not want it to end. Amazing, right!

 

I loved having so much quiet time with EJ during our car rides. We enjoyed lunch with Jill and MBM. I didn't get enough time with Courtney, will have to wait til Nov. for that.

EJ and I had the privilege of staying with my cousin Daniel and his wife Jessica and eating dinner out with them with no kids to interrupt us!

My parents survived! Hopefully they are recovering nicely today ;) THANKS AGAIN!

End Of Vacation

We returned home from the beach on Saturday, but not without first dropping of the kids at my parents! (They are the best) I was apprehensive when initially made plans to attend a friends birthday party the same evening we returned home from a week of vacation. It turned out to be the perfect plan because EJ and I barely spoke to each other at the beach with so many friends and kids around.

We enjoyed unloading the van without kids, a quiet afternoon and nap, Chinese take-out, a fun party and the house to ourselves for an overnight. The perfect ending to our trip and our summer (sad).