Oh Dear

We are in trouble ;) This little face is too much!

We got pics emailed to us from the orphanage! Another answered prayer!

Please pray for her belly with currant diet changes. Did I mention she LOVES cheerios?

We Got Her

Introducing Avery Li-Mei Fogarty

 

 

 

 

 

What a day! I don't really have words just yet. Perhaps b/c I have been awake since 4:45 AM. It was a LONG wait until she arrived after 3 PM. My stomach was a disaster most of the morning. Totally fine now ;)

 

We are doing great. She is very timid and scared (rightly so). She has yet to show any real emotions, but she is allowing us to feed her and hold her and sit close. We are very grateful for all of these milestones. She is so quiet, but very curious ;) I can tell it's only a matter of time! We are thoroughly enjoying just watching her and she is constantly taking quick peeks at us.

 

Thank you for praying. Everything went remarkably well. She allowed me to give her a bottle and she fell asleep in my arms tonight. We go back tomorrow to Civil Affairs at 8 AM to make it official!!!!!

Our Journey

Dreaming

"For so long, I dreamed of you," [mama] said, snuggling closer...I dreamed of how you would look, smell, even what you would sound like. And every day I thought of how wonderful it would be to hold you in my arms." God Found Us You, by Lisa Tawn Bergren

Avery's adoption is so much more than ONE moment, but now that we are getting so close, I can't help but wonder even more about how my heart will react/respond the FIRST moment I lay my eyes on her.

We don't have any details of our gotcha day. Just the date. I don't know how much we will learn beforehand. I am fairly certain it will take place in a govt building, not our hotel. But I could totally be wrong. It's pretty difficult to imagine the moment with no details. I will take that as a blessing.

EJ and I escaped to the beach on our own one afternoon last week, while Ryan napped and the older two watched baseball with their grandpa. We went for a walk together and dreamed a little about what gotcha day will be like. I say "dream," but the anxious thoughts almost outweigh the excited ones ;) We will bring with us to gotcha, every trick in the book: lollipops, her doll, lovie, cheerios, bubbles, etc.

I am planning to blog while we are there. Assuming our VPN works.

The packing is going great. It helps that I stared months ago (thinking we'd travel end of June). I should probably do a test weigh-in before I get too excited.

Counting Down Déjà vu

My darling Sugar Plum,

5 (long) months ago, I saw your sweet face for the first time.

In less than 1 month, I will finally hold you in my arms.

Original flights were cancelled, new flights have been purchased. We are exactly the same number of days away from meeting you as we were a week ago. Time has stood still. I have cried many many tears over the saga: one less week of being with you, the money lost and the way your new family has been at odds with the stress. It wasn't pretty, but He is helping me trust that He knows what He is doing. It's a long crazy story that I can not yet tell with kind words. Don't mess with a mama in her last trimester ;)

Meet you soon, sweet girl. 

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord,
plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Jeremiah 29:11

Counting Down

My darling Sugar Plum,

5 (long) months ago, I saw your sweet face for the first time.

In less than 1 month, I will finally hold you in my arms.

Our flights are booked!!!!

Meet you soon, sweet girl. Happy 22 months!

 

Please Lord, hold her close and send our faces to her in her dreams. 

May she sense our love and your love, from the moment we meet.

May she be comforted in our arms and by our voices.

Help her to fall in love with us and us with her.

365 days later

One year ago today, our application to Lifeline for the adoption of a China special needs child was accepted and approved. 365 days later I sit pace anxiously waiting Travel Approval for Avery Li-Mei Fogarty. We received new pictures and a sweet description of our daughter this week with a subject line of "final update." You have no idea how much I am clinging to those 2 simple words. I am trying so hard to be thankful for how quickly this process has gone. We are very blessed. Please Lord, bring her home soon!

 22.5 months

19.8 lbs

28 inches

 

Yes, they shaved her head again. Thank goodness for all the cute headbands!

Article 5

Our daughter's visa paperwork was picked up from the Consulate's office in Ch!na Monday night (earlier than expected) and sent to the CCCWA for them to issue us our travel approval (TA)!! TAs have been coming in about 2-3 weeks. Once we have TA, we can call for our consulate appt which sets our travel dates.

What's left?

_Travel Approval (TA) received from CCCWA (approx. 2-3 weeks)
_Apply for Consulate Appointment
_Receive Consulate Appointment (Approximately 2 business days after application)
_Travel (approximately 2 weeks after receiving TA) 

Eyes to See

"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Cor. 4:18

I sure hope I have done a good job at recording all that I have learned in this journey. The list is getting really long and I don't want to forget it.

There is no denying that when you participate in orphan care, you are going to see a lot of pain, longing, and heart ache, all of which has greatly challenged my faith. It is easy to assume God is not there, and yet his word promises he is. So, I began boldly asking Him to allow me to SEE him at work. TRY IT ;) Our eyes have a habit of seeing the world through a certain lens, I have begun to see just how much I miss. I know I am still "missing" a lot, but he has given me what I need to grow in my faith.

A year ago, EJ and I made the decision to apply to Lifeline Children’s Services (LCS), China Special Needs* program. We did not make this decision lightly. We were very very close to moving in the direction of a domestic adoption through the foster care system. This is not a post about one “way” being better than another. This is a post about God's faithfulness to us and our daughter.

After many months of praying and narrowing down agencies and countries, we decided that if we were “pre-approved” by China, that we would move forward until God closed the doors. EJ and I both take medicines (daily) that could have closed the doors. We submitted letters (I am not sure to whom) from our Drs. explaining our reasons for the medicines and a summary of our general health.

The day we found out we were pre-approved was May 23, 2012. 

At the very same time, all the way across the world, our precious little girl (8 mo.) was in the hospital undergoing surgery (all alone, with no parents) for a congenital birth defect. She was admitted May 8 and discharged June 12.

My prayer journal on May 25^th said, “be with our daughter, protect her, watch over her. Help her be loved and cared for. Provide the medical help she needs…”

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve begged God to help ME “see” him at work caring for the fatherless. There are SO many hurting lonely children in this world. He is faithfully and constantly showing me, yet it seems I am never fully convinced.

Now, I have my prayer journal to remind me that his spirit prompted me to pray very specifically and for a very good reason. Plus, he clearly moved in BIG ways to provide her (an orphan) surgery in a hospital far from her orphanage.

I am thankful that God would allow ME to "see" this part of our story.

Until now, I have not felt lead to write about our daughter’s “special need,” in fact, I don’t even think I mentioned we were in the special needs program. Anyone who knows anything about adopting from China could have figured this out by our timeline. Adopting a “healthy” child from China is a 6-7 yr wait. 

I don’t really know how much I will write about her health concerns on the blog. Until we know more, it doesn't feel like my story to write. We are hoping and praying that she will not need future surgeries, we've been told she is doing excellent, we will believe it when we see it ;)

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus". Philippians 4:4-7

Happy 21 months, Avery!

*No Hands But Ours, is an excellent resource, if my post sparks any questions about special needs adoption.

Pretty in Pink

Avery's room is ready! It's been ready for awhile. It's a good thing too b/c once baseball season started we've had very little time to do anything extra around here. I finally got around to taking pictures and now it will become the central location for all packing. Last night, I printed the FIVE page packing list and have already begun checking things off the list. Good thing I love lists and like to pack ;)

The nursery has seen some sweet changes since it was occupied by Ryan.

I made the fabric "A" over her dresser, but the other "A" was a gift, it is for all Avery's hair bows. Thanks Michelle :)

The "Avery" banner is from Courtney and displayed at my shower. Thank you!

Now that we no longer have a guest room :(
 The futon will have to do.

After the adoption paperwork was complete and the real waiting began, I put my graphic design skills to work and created some art for her walls.

 Owen painted this in 2nd grade. I love it and saved it for her room.

 

This is Avery's original referral picture. I am sad that the file size is so small and I will likely not get another version, it's one of the youngest pictures we have. I could just eat her up!

 These colorful lanterns hang above her crib.

Oh, how I am praying that you are a good sleeper, Avery! This crib has held each of my precious sons and now I pray you find comfort and rest here as well.
When our journey to find a child already waiting, I assumed our daughter would be closer to 3 because there is less interest in older children, I am feeling very blessed to experience her 2nd year and have another one in a crib!

Charmed

A few days before we received our LOA, I received my charm necklace, back from CA where the original jewelry artist added a fourth charm. After some emergency work by my personal jewelry maker (I didn't like the new spacers and their names were out of order) it was ready to go. But I wasn't sure my heart was ready to wear it.

  

This entire process as been one leap of faith after another. Could I really wear her name now? What would I do if a stranger asked me about my four? What would I do if she never came home? 

With the arrival of the LOA, I wear it now, more confidently. But I am grateful that it reminds me that I am waiting in HOPE for what the Lord will do. I need to keep my hands and heart open to Him.

She is forever in my heart and I love having her name so close to it.

What a year!

I am really too busy to dwell much, but I am eagerly waiting news on our i800 approval and word from the orphanage with some answers to my questions about her currant size, eating and routine.

Hard to believe this time last year we were still deciding where to adopt from. What a year this has been! For some reason, I think I need this amazing story about how and why we chose China. And while I have been pondering it for days now as we approach the year anniversary of our decision making, I realized that the lack of story brings just as much glory to God.

WE JUST FOLLOWED HIM. Seriously, we took it one step at a time and he lead the way. We did not have a heart or calling for a specific country. We just had a heart for the orphan. He gave us the eyes to see and the faith to follow him.

I can tell you that our hearts have changed a lot towards our daughter's country. EJ and I are already wondering what will happen in the future as we'd like to continue to advocate and care for the orphans in China. While I was anxiously waiting our LOA, God did a strange thing. He reopened my eyes to the lists of waiting boys. Not the little ones, the aging-out ones. Crazy, right? Kids who are not adopted by the age of 14 lose the opportunity for a forever family. 14! Well, I have a list of 4 that God brings to mind quite frequently and I am praying their families find them in time. And I am also praying it isn't us ;) Cause that is too dang messy :)

I would not trade this journey for the world. I consider myself blessed that God would choose to use us.

I know the Fogarty/Burke family tree has forever changed and I am thankful. I know this will not come without struggle and I am bracing myself for the millions of comments she and we will face.

"There'll always be secularists- and, sadly, some church people too-who will try to divide us up into neat categories of race and class. Jesus does the opposite, though. He sits us right down at the same table and feeds us bread and wine-together." Russell Moore,"Adopted for Life"

20 months

Happy 20 months, baby girl!

I am filling out our visa forms. It won't be long now ;) We are coming!

It's officially decided, we will be taking Owen to China with us. Mason (has been told) and Ryan will be staying home with my parents and hopefully some play dates to give the grandparents a rest ;)

Introducing...

photo taken in January 2013

photos taken in March 2013 after she received our care package

LOA

We have had one heck of a weekend. His Love has poured down on us.

After 72 days (on 4-13-13) we have LOA (Letter of Acceptance)

or Letter of Seeking Confirmation from Adopter

 

I had assumed these past 72 days that we were the ones being accepted. As in there was still a chance XiuYan was not ours. Turns out we were the ones officially accepting her. Either way it's as official as it can be this side of China. I am jumping for joy with tears and laughter.

The certificate was signed and it is on its way back to Alabama along with our U.S. Immigration (round 2) applications. 2-3 months til travel!!! We are coming baby girl!

Guess who is going to China with us?

If you grew up in my house, you would know I love to pack. I got this from my Nerna. She was the queen of early packers. My poor grandfather would have to wear the same outfit over and over again before leaving on a trip because she would have already packed his things, weeks in advance.
Weeks before going on vacation, I like to start my list. Now with 3 children to pack for, I actually have a spreadsheet I update after each trip. Just to make sure it's perfect ;)
Don't be fooled. My daily to-do lists are not this fancy, nor do I even use one (regularly). It's only for the love of packing. For this reason, I actually don't mind camping. It's packing to the extreme ;)
So, with my first major international trip in the near future, you can only imagine. Not to mention I have been waiting to buy little girly items for 8 years a long time.
I have found plenty of lists online from momma's travel to their little ones. They make me look like an amateur list maker ;)
I have a bin in the Sugar Plum's room that I have been adding to over time. It has been fun and helpful to have one specific place to keep them. The newest item added is this precious handmade doll. I bought her here from a mom of three boys ;)

The doll will be making the journey with us, in hopes of coercing Sugar Plum into my arms. It is very likely she has never seen a doll before, so it may not work.
We still don't know exactly who else will be making the trip to China. This is turning out to be a bigger decision than I ever imagined.

Forever

Seeing Sugar Plum again has stirred emotions that I didn't expect. I can't quite put my finger on it, but I am hoping if I sit down to type it will come out.

For weeks, I have been struggling to remember that I am not just preparing for 1 trip, 1 first meeting, 1 first hug and kiss (if she will let me) 1 set of gotcha day photos taken, etc.

I am finding it easy to compare to the preparations of a wedding. There is a lot of prep, a lot of waiting and then... THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. I still remember the moment (once we took off on a plane for our honeymoon), I realized I should have been more focused on my soon-to-be-marriage than my fleeting 6 hour wedding day. Not b/c something bad had happened, but because I had lost all sense of perspective.

This feels very similar.

Awhile ago, I complained to a friend that I felt I was always praying the same things for Sugar Plum... that she would be feed, kept safe, be healthy and loved, etc. And while all those are good and necessary for my mama instincts, she basically told me to be praying about the rest of our life together ;)

So when I look at her new pictures, I am struck by the reality that I DO NOT know this little girl. I had memorized her in the original pictures and apparently convinced myself that I knew her. Well, yesterday was a stark reminder that I do not. And while Owen reminded me that I didn't know him before he was born, I still can't shake the new found fear.

I don't know why this is suddenly hitting me. Perhaps it's because we are getting closer? Perhaps it's because our family's picture ironed onto a blanket is in the hands of a precious child in China?

Perhaps it's because we are welcoming a complete stranger into our lives forever!

I can look at her pictures and search intently for all the "good" I can see. It looks clean, she looks well, she is smiling. For all I know she was placed in the best spot in the orphanage for these pictures.

I have been haunted by some photos recently taken by families there now who are receiving their children. As much as I would like to think these places are ok. Growing up in an institution without a family is not ok.

I am terrified about what it will feel like to leave all the other children behind. How can I possibly only bring 1 home? Will this haunt me for the rest of my life? I suppose, I hope it does. Because 1 less, is NOT enough.

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. James 1:27

For great is his love toward us,
and the faithfulness of the Lord endures forever.

Praise the Lord. Psalm 117:2

My flesh and my heart may fail,
    but God is the strength of my heart
    and my portion forever. Psalm 73:26

I am forever His. May this change who I am, forever.

Let's Go to China!

Sugar Plum is 19 months old today!

We received the sweetest note in our birthday box from our dear friend, Rebekah. I LOVE the "Let's Go to China" My sentiments exactly! I can have our bags packed in a few days. Let's Go!
Rebekah, we are SO grateful for your prayers and the way the Lord is growing in your heart everyday. I would love you to be at the airport! No pressure ;)

No word yet on the LOA or if Sugar Plum has received our package. I am constantly battling conversations in my head about waiting patiently, asking forgiveness when I am not, and pleading that word comes soon. I am SO thankful He knows best. The next set of papers will be done and waiting ;) I think today is 50 days.

Seeing Pink

Sugar Plum's room is painted! 

I love it, but definitely still getting used to it. It is a big change from the blue and green.

30 Days and Counting

Today is the 30 day mark as we wait for our Letter of Approval (LOA) which we've been told takes on average 60-90 days.

I thought I would share my prayer request to my Wellspring girls on Tuesday. It was crazy what the Holy Spirit prompted in me AS I WAS IN MID SENTENCE** It started out as a complaint and he allowed me to see the blessing in it.

"The waiting is getting harder each week**as the Lord blesses me with a growing love for A."

In the middle of my sentence, HE helped me to see HIS generosity and love towards ME. The reason the waiting is getting harder is because I am falling more and more in love with her. Praise Him! Guess I got nothing to complain about ;)

 

This is one of the pictures we sent to Xiuyan in her package. It was taken specifically for her. In one of the pictures we have of her she is sitting on a blue reindeer toy just like our bull. We are praying she sees the similarities too. The boys connected with her instantly when they saw hers. 

Ryan is all about his "sissy" these days. He even has a knock knock joke ;)

"Knock, Knock" "Who's There?" "China" "China Who?" "Sissy" (then he laughs like he is the funniest person ever) Maybe it will sound even funnier to someone who only speaks Chinese ;)