Eyes to See

"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Cor. 4:18

I sure hope I have done a good job at recording all that I have learned in this journey. The list is getting really long and I don't want to forget it.

There is no denying that when you participate in orphan care, you are going to see a lot of pain, longing, and heart ache, all of which has greatly challenged my faith. It is easy to assume God is not there, and yet his word promises he is. So, I began boldly asking Him to allow me to SEE him at work. TRY IT ;) Our eyes have a habit of seeing the world through a certain lens, I have begun to see just how much I miss. I know I am still "missing" a lot, but he has given me what I need to grow in my faith.

A year ago, EJ and I made the decision to apply to Lifeline Children’s Services (LCS), China Special Needs* program. We did not make this decision lightly. We were very very close to moving in the direction of a domestic adoption through the foster care system. This is not a post about one “way” being better than another. This is a post about God's faithfulness to us and our daughter.

After many months of praying and narrowing down agencies and countries, we decided that if we were “pre-approved” by China, that we would move forward until God closed the doors. EJ and I both take medicines (daily) that could have closed the doors. We submitted letters (I am not sure to whom) from our Drs. explaining our reasons for the medicines and a summary of our general health.

The day we found out we were pre-approved was May 23, 2012. 

At the very same time, all the way across the world, our precious little girl (8 mo.) was in the hospital undergoing surgery (all alone, with no parents) for a congenital birth defect. She was admitted May 8 and discharged June 12.

My prayer journal on May 25^th said, “be with our daughter, protect her, watch over her. Help her be loved and cared for. Provide the medical help she needs…”

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve begged God to help ME “see” him at work caring for the fatherless. There are SO many hurting lonely children in this world. He is faithfully and constantly showing me, yet it seems I am never fully convinced.

Now, I have my prayer journal to remind me that his spirit prompted me to pray very specifically and for a very good reason. Plus, he clearly moved in BIG ways to provide her (an orphan) surgery in a hospital far from her orphanage.

I am thankful that God would allow ME to "see" this part of our story.

Until now, I have not felt lead to write about our daughter’s “special need,” in fact, I don’t even think I mentioned we were in the special needs program. Anyone who knows anything about adopting from China could have figured this out by our timeline. Adopting a “healthy” child from China is a 6-7 yr wait. 

I don’t really know how much I will write about her health concerns on the blog. Until we know more, it doesn't feel like my story to write. We are hoping and praying that she will not need future surgeries, we've been told she is doing excellent, we will believe it when we see it ;)

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus". Philippians 4:4-7

Happy 21 months, Avery!

*No Hands But Ours, is an excellent resource, if my post sparks any questions about special needs adoption.