My Girl

I tripped over this post a few days ago when looking back for something about a previous Christmas (that's what is so wonderful about blogs- I can refer back when the years blur together). I am so glad I recorded my thoughts even though it wasn't one of my finest moments. 

This is part of what I wrote, "It's not that we are sad for another boy, I actually haven't begun to process what that will be like! Boys are so fun and I am happy to have another one for lots of reasons. I pray they will be the best of friends! It's actually just sadness that we won't have a daughter. (Yes, folks this is it. My body is done. Don't ask me how women have 12+ children, or 4 for that matter, but my body can not.)

Anyway, in my disappointment I have come to some great realizations and have learned a lot about myself. The experiences a mother assumes she will have with a daughter (tea parties, prom dress shopping, wedding, 1st baby, weekly phone calls, late night chats etc.) are not promised to us just because we have a girl. A daughter might not choose to do any of those things, or may choose not to involve her mother anyway. There is also no guarantee for that perfect mother and daughter relationship (which doesn't exist anyway). It's easy to glamorize what we don't have! And from what I've heard the hair curling, tights and bows and extra tears aren't so fun ;)"

Four years ago, I would never in my wildest dreams have imagined I'd be celebrating my daughter's 1st Christmas. Yes, we are calling it that, they do not (at least not most) celebrate Christmas in China. And so in honor of her 1st Christmas and because 5 months ago today, I held her in my arms for the very first time, I am celebrating with lots of precious shots and some tidbits from my heart.

You've seen the bows and tights and we've shared "tea." And I do not take any of it for granted. Of course it's only been 5 months :) We did not go overboard with girl gifts for Christmas. I am still very new at this and well, she hardly plays with anything. She is better at destruction. Most things, like this cute outfit, have been gifted to us (thanks Mimi) from folks who have also waited 10 yrs for a girl ;) It is still catches me off guard to see little girl toys lying around. Yesterday, Owen said, "no more dolls, I want her to play sports." Hmm... I made sure to remind him we still have twice as many balls as we do dolls ;)

I think that the attachment process has been easier on EJ and me b/c Avery is our first girl. There is such an air of excitement and newness. Don't get me wrong, we have already begun rolling our eyes and muttering "drama queen" under our breathes. We knew it was coming and she is GOOD at it.

"Avery" was the name we choose 10 years ago when we were pregnant with Owen and didn't know if the baby was a boy or girl. When we started talking about names this time around I was hesitant, but still very much loved the name. You see, 10 years ago, I did not picture a Chinese girl, I pictured one whom looked just like my baby pics. I wasn't sure how I felt about using the same name. And then, God did an awesome thing. He reminded me that this was the little girl He had planned for me before the beginning of time. That was it, my heart was set on "Avery," I just had to convince my 4 males :)

Avery Li-Mei we love your silly faces and how you can say so much with just your facial expressions. And we love how your eyes disappear when you smile. The other day Ryan said, "I am so glad Avery is from China." I couldn't agree more!

Last year on Dec 21st, I posted "Wishing you were home for Christmas! You are top on my list." Now here she is. I don't need to write a list this year ;) Praise God, from whom all Blessings Flow!

Merry Christmas!