In Two Places At Once

I am here, but just barely. I want to curl up in a ball and cry, but there isn't time at least not without 6 eyes staring at me and getting worried. We have heard nothing from China in 3 long weeks and no news isn't good news in this case. We are in a time crunch that we didn't expect and the waiting feels awful. Our agency doesn't know anything, yet. 

For the past 2 weeks C(CWA has been experiencing glitches in their new computer system and those glitches are prohibiting them from issuing TAs. We still do not know if the glitches have been worked out, and we do not know if TAs are being issued again. Plus, this week started with a 3 day holiday. 

Normally this wouldn't be such a big deal. Just a delay by a week or two. BUT last week we learned that US Consulate in Guangzhou will be closing to move to a new location on July 15th. They will suspend all operations from July 15-July 24 (all adoptive families must go through the consulate at the end of their adoption trip to finalize their adoptions). These are the weeks we had assumed we'd be there or already back home! This means is that if we can't get our Consulate Appointment (CA) for July 11 or earlier, then we will have to wait to travel to China until sometime after July 24th. I am fairly certain our deadline for TA is tomorrow, but we have not be officially told.

I am trying to be "here" with my boys, with their last week of school, with thoughts of summer plans (that I didn't make b/c we were going to be gone). But honestly, I am worthless. Unless I am in His word or listening to praise music, my thoughts spiral into a terrible mess.
God has been so faithful to draw me nearer to Him. As hard as this is, I have not felt alone, I have become even more convinced of His love for me (thanks to some prayer warriors) One minute it is "well with my soul" for us to be held back and the next minute I am running back to His word for reassurance, b/c I have already forgotten.

I will treasure these lessons in my heart b/c I know I will need them even more in the next few months. Not only is He asking me to trust him, I feel He is challenging me to be thankful in the midst. I am resisting this b/c it doesn't come natural, I'd rather have a pity party, but He is showing me that is the next step to grow in my faith. His grace covers me, I do not doubt that He will give me the faith to thank Him.

It could be far worse than a small delay. I do have so much to be thankful. And one of those is this sweet precious boy who I adore. He played at this water table for a very very long time. Time I just needed to sit and read and pray. Trying to Count My Blessings. No one said this would be easy ;)