1st Snow

of the season and perhaps her first

 

She wasn't sure what to think, she was pretty nervous, but silly brother helped break the ice.

 The older 2 had school. They were annoyed. It was just a dusting and melted pretty quick.

After awhile, I think her makeshift boots were too wet and cold. She wouldn't leave my side. We didn't last long outside. Just enough to "need" hot choc. :)

Basement (Before)

It's tempting to think you know a person if you follow their blog. I am always talking to EJ about my "friends" whom I've never met outside of their blog. In reality, I could easily just share the pretty, clean corner in my home/heart and you'd never know the difference. Well, today you get to see the very bottom, of my house that is. Well, at least what it used to look like. Prepare for extreme loveliness.

It was not always this empty, except for the day we moved in :) Yes, the cinder block walls were painted lots of different colors. The previous owner took artistic liberty to the extreme.

I flicked on this bathroom light to take picture. That makes it the second time since we've lived here in 8 yrs. Gross!

 Closet on the left, half bath on the right

We are SO blessed to have this space, especially since our family has grown beyond what we ever imagined. The storage is a dream come true.

When Avery's room was decorated, we lost our extra guest room. EJ's mom spent her 5 day visit at Christmas sleeping on Owen's twin bed, while he slept on the floor in his brother's room.We would love to have space for out of town guests. So why reveal my ugly basement, for which I am extremely grateful to have? Because it is undergoing a huge transformation and I am very excited. Work began in November and it's still far from finished, but it's finally at the point that I am able to picture myself spending time down there and not running back upstairs as quickly as I can ;)

My Word for 2014

I am not sure if it's the start of a new year (and everyone likes a fresh start) or the fact that 5 months has gone by since our arrival home with Avery, but I am finally feeling the fog slowly lift. Actually, I am only seeing now that there is a fog, so I have a long way to go ;)

I have not been interacting with others or God with conscious effort. It's more like aimless frenzy.

A lot was gained in 2013, but with it (her) came a lot of sacrifices. We hunkered down as a family of 6. I'd love to say we are stronger for it, more connected, but I've been in survival mode and my relationships with my fab 5 have suffered.

I am also beginning to yearn for a connection outside of my lovely loud home. I've missed BEING with my extended family and friends.

And I have missed being still before The Lord.

The adoption process for me became a spiritual "high." The steps we took in faith, were without a doubt the craziest thing I've done so far. The process of trusting God, one step at a time, was a lesson I hope to carry with me for life. I have missed the JOY in walking so closely with Him. It was AMAZING to entrust God with so much. I suppose I could/should strive to live each day like that, but I don't:( It's quite a "fall" upon re-entry, but I am ready to re-connect.

I recently read this and it sums up my thoughts better than I can..."you have continued to spend time with [God] (barely), but you've found it hard to really be still and focus on [Him]. You need to set aside time for listening to [Him]-blocking out distractions and reconnecting with [Him] in the depths of your soul. Without focused time in [His] Presence, your soul will become malnourished. Other people may not notice, but you can tell the difference." from Jesus Today, by Sarah Young.

My soul does feel malnourished and as a result so are my relationships with others. Thankfully His mercies are new every morning, and I don't always need a NEW year!

With the encouragement of a friend, and other bloggers also choosing ONE word, I have decided to take the challenge. Already I have been blessed!

Full of Gratitude

It is still such a delight to watch this little girl in action. The boys were in the other room playing some strange version of indoor football with a basketball. I choose to watch this one instead ;)


A year ago, EJ and I were faced with a very difficult decision. We had fallen head over heels for a little girl whose referral we'd been given. Several days after we said "yes," we got some very difficult and conflicting information. After lots of praying and crying (me) we had to say "no."

I would love to say that seeing my daughter's precious face look up at me now, makes those aches disappear, but that is not true. The aches have faded with time, but I am often reminded of all 3 little girls to whom we said "no." I pray their families have found them. Orphan care is ongoing (that is a promise in scripture). I have forever been changed (I prayed that I would be). There is no going back to my old self. I am thankful, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.

How much more does the Father ache for his children?
I can not fathom. Enough to go to the cross for us.

I have never in my life needed or felt His grace as much as I did when we said "no" to "Lotus", "Precious Cloud" and "Bright Morning." I felt it, I truly did and I was humbled beyond measure that He is capable of loving each of his children and welcomes them into His family.
I have no doubts that I needed these lessons before saying "yes" to "Beautiful, Graceful" (Avery). I am thankful each day that He chose me to be her momma.

"A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows,
    is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families..."
Psalm 68:5-6

Another New Look

Avery has a waterspout, I mean ponytail.

And she jumps now too!

This girl does not stop, except to sleep and praise the Lord she sleeps well!