Part of the Journey

Lately, I am being bombarded with "I will not leave you." Isn't that an awesome truth to have hit you from every angle? What a gift!

Here is one example.

We are currently studying Joseph (from Genesis) in Wellspring. We are back in Genesis again and I am so excited.

This is a quote from this week's lesson.

"Scripture insists that... 'we know that God works all things for good for those who are called according to His purpose.' Joseph was assuredly called 'according to God's purpose.' He wasn't aware of it at that moment and there would be many more such moments, as we shall learn...It is put in the Bible as a testimony to us. And it is an encouragement to those of us who are still somewhere on the road to Egypt, with hearts broken by the rejection of loved ones, feet blistered by the sharp rocks of affliction, and with a thousand questions racing through our heads and no answers in sight."
Liam Goligher

When I learned we would study Joseph, I didn't anticipate how it would speak directly into my heart, the heart of a mother waiting to welcome her daughter home. But it is becoming clear to me, that God's timing is impeccable (surprise, surprise) and I am eager to soak up all He has to show me.

Joseph's life was hard. His journey was not a walk through the park. While he was being rejected and betrayed, did he still know God was there? It's not always clear in the Scriptures what Joseph was thinking/learning along the way. Surely he did not know God's whole plan.

In many ways Joseph's journey looked similar to that of Jesus. Jesus' life was not easy. He was rejected and betrayed. And there was a clear path he had to take. Unlike Joseph, he knew the WHOLE story. More importantly he willingly entered into it all for our salvation.

My daughter's road has not been an easy one. Even without knowing the specifics, the basic facts tell us this because she is an orphan. She is not with her birth parents. If she was, she wouldn't be needing our family. I do not know the road she has been on and is currently enduring alone. No matter how loved she is by us in the future, she will forever be scared (somehow) by the rejection of her birth parents. This story of Joseph will speak to her heart in a much deeper way than I will ever understand.

Sometimes I think "we can't do this (adopt). It's going to be so hard." And each and every time, He is faithful to whisper in my ears and remind me, that HE IS ENOUGH.

I won't be able to heal her. I won't always know what she needs. I won't be able to speak straight into her broken heart. But her Creator can. He is with her even now. The journey she is on is part of his plan for her. This gives me incredible peace.

I imagine MY road is going to get a lot bumpier. But just like Joseph, it's not outside of God's plan. And just in case I forget that, I have written here ;)

Ryan's Dance Moves

(he is not watching anything, we stream pandora through our t.v.)

One step closer

Yesterday, we received our fingerprinting appointment date!

Game Time

#24 is mine. I can hardly believe it.

It's a different game this time around. Bigger field, goalie, referee, keep score and they play their positions (or at least recognize there are specific positions to be played).

 He's the blurry one in the background with the ball. Just love how everyone looks as they run.

I think he'd rather be playing football or baseball. This might be the end of soccer. We'll see.

Just a little Crazy

Ryan had a friend over today. So fun!

I am here. Well, my body anyway. My head and heart are kinda in China ;) I have more time to think now that the paperwork is mostly done. Now I get why this is the harder part. Time to think isn't always good ;)
The other day when we went to the art museum there was a large group of Chinese adults in a guided tour together. They stopped in 1 small room that was the Japanese "Temple" room. I steered Ryan's stroller over and squeezed us in. I found myself breathing deeper and listening intently to their Chinese conversations. Hoping just maybe I could feel a little more of her while I was in their presence.
Sounds totally crazy. But what part of this process isn't crazy? We didn't have a "heart" for China when we started this process. But God is giving us one. I am currently ready juvenile fiction just b/c the author is Chinese and the story is about 3 sisters Taiwanese-Americans who travel home to Taiwan for their summer vacation. It was on the new book table so I picked it up. Seriously?!? Who am I?
I really am trying not to wish the days away. But it's so tempting!