Seeking His Joy

I have been learning a lot lately, through God's word, but I haven't figured out a way to sum it up here. Then recently I read this, "As the Word of Life takes deep root into our minds, hearts, and souls, we are able to live as aliens in this temporal land. We are empowered to stand firm in the pain and mess of life with compassion and love, joyful and expectant of Christ’s return." found here

When times are tough, it can become critical to put my joy in my salvation (I have had to do that) or else I will have no joy, but to put my joy in my salvation when things are "good" allows for totally different fruit. I am seeing that now.

I am becoming more aware of the power of faith (in Christ's return)...the power and strength God provides when I remember my true inheritance. "An inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled and unfading, kept in heaven for [me]" 1 Peter 1:4. This knowledge really does strengthen me to move forward with joy, not a superficial joy but a deep joy (peace-like) that is not dependent on my circumstances or other people. There is much freedom to be found and a peace that I find shocking at times. It's not because he takes away the pain and the mess, that we find joy, it's in the gift of Christ's return that gives us joy while we wait.

I wasn't sure how to use this truth in a practical way. Am I supposed to repeat it over and over in my head all day long, so that I don't forget? That doesn't seem to happen. How will God make this truth a reality in my heart? Well, just asking those questions to myself and a few special friends, has done just that. It's been in my head a lot (thanks to the holy spirit) and it is sinking in. It also helps that our pastor is doing an AMAZING series of sermons called "A Living Hope" from 1 Peter, find them here, it's well worth your time.

God is teaching me how/when/why to place my joy and peace in Him, in the the hope of my salvation, in the work He accomplished on the cross. Those truths are unwavering unlike most of the things I would naturally think to put my hope in. This may not seem like a new concept to some of you, but to "know" it and "feel" it are totally different.

It is more typical of me to sense God at work in times of despair in the valley not on the mountain top. I am thankful for this new vantage point

EJ and I on top of Graves Mountain, down below were trees with rotten apples which we had planned on picking. Seemed fitting for this post.

"And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen." 1 Peter 5:10-11

Preschool Pumpkins

We had a surprise guest come with us on Avery's pumpkin field trip. As I was heading out the door, I got a call from the school nurse. Ryan wasn't doing so well. His tummy. He has been SO happy about school for a few weeks but it was hard getting him out the door this morning. He is having some anxiety about certain things in school that he is slowly mentioning. I think it was mostly because he knew I was going with Avery to the pumpkin patch, but he didn't say that in so many words. I declared him a a mental health day and being on a farm was just what his little heart and tummy needed. Thankfully the big boys won't be jealous because they could care less about pumpkin patches now.

Visiting this particular farm makes me almost want to be a farmer. 

Maybe Ryan will own one someday and we can live with his family ;)

 My parents are such good sports. Avery doesn't "appear" to want them with her, but they come anyway. She is lucky her rejections don't keep them away.

I wish trips like this were fun for my girl, but they cause stress. Thankfully it's not that apparent to outsiders, but she and I both know. She wasn't keen on visiting with the animals today, maybe next time. I can't help but smile when someone takes my picture, but there is a lot going on behind that smile. Anxiety has a lot of faces, for her and me. It's not so much about wishing she were different but about wishing I could truly understand. I suppose we are a lot more alike than I think. Both of us have learned to "cope" in the normal day to day, but in new settings we are both learning how to walk forward and sometimes more attached to each other than I'd like ;)

 I did capture a glimmer of a smile.

Last Ones Picked

We learned a lot from our first square foot garden. We are eager to correct our mistakes and try again next spring. Thankfully our garden provided just enough excitement to make 1 very proud farmer. We even had an Eggplant Parmesan dinner, one of our favorite meals.

Play "Therapy"

Having 1 child at home is easy, the 4th time around :) Avery has quickly adapted to being an only child, in the mornings. Now the trick is convincing her she is NOT one, in the afternoons and weekends! It's not been pretty. Our mornings are drastically different than our afternoons and both of us struggle at times to adjust to the pace and the noise.

I am loving the pace of life right now. A LOT of its very intentional on my part. It's been SO good for my heart, body and mind. I am exercising again, 3x a week!!! I am taking time to read a lot more. Bits of scripture in the morning, afternoon and evening and fiction books. I am back at Wellspring, my church's women's bible study which is such a joy and a treat.

Most of all, I am spending quality and quantity of time with this beautiful girl. We have 2 mornings each week without school or bible study. Which doesn't seem like much BUT I am realizing that most days we have plenty of afternoon time too, bc she doesn't nap everyday and her quiet time doesn't last as long as I'd sometimes like ;)

One thing you may already know, is that my girl doesn't stop moving and she doesn't "play" especially not by herself. She does a lot of wandering around and getting into mischief. A deadly combination if I "need" to get something done. Her attention span is growing, but it still requires a lot of help with the attention of an adult. To help my sanity, I have created a box (on the bottom of the shelf behind her in this picture) with labelled zip-loc bags of pres-school/sensory type activities. When she and I have free time or make free time she heads straight to her box. My hope is that eventually she will play with these things on her own!

 

Most of the items we already owned, I just packaged them a little different or added things to make them more age appropriate. These puzzle pictures are her favorite and she is now doing them without my help!

Thanks to my mom's suggestion I found a way to keep my petite one's feet on the floor. She uses a stool as a table and a chair ;)

Mom and I are fairly certain a lot of her emotional struggles are a result of sensory processing issues. I am trying to address that in our play time as well.

This bouncy bull is one way I can keep my fidgety girl on task as she learns her colors

We are also experimenting with Therapeutic Listening. She is not totally on board with wearing the special headphones, but if I sit with her and play she is happy. They look extra ridiculous because I added a washcloth to give her a snugger fit.

This time "sitting" with her is challenging for me. I don't sit much during the day and I can think of lots of other things I could be doing. It's a lesson for me, in self-control just as much as it is for her. We are bonding more and more every day. She is definitely benefitting from having me one-on-one. There is SO much for her to learn that my other 3 learned naturally. I am thankful for this new time in my schedule with 3 in school and I pray we see the benefits and if not, that we trust God's plan for her in her struggles.

State Fair

This already seems like ages ago, but I want to record the memory bc otherwise my forgetful brain won't remember. My parents look forward to taking their grandchildren to the state fair every fall. This is the first time Avery attended and bc of that, so did I. Four kids is too much for two adults in these types of settings especially with Avery's unpredictable struggles with sensory overload. The weather forecast was not favorable, but it turned out to be an awesome afternoon and evening bc the crowds were smaller and the rain didn't start until we were getting in the van to leave :)

The rides are their favorite part, but this year we really took advantage of the farming aspect too.

Owen was chosen from the crowd to represent a pig in one of the pig races (their favorite event, every year). He was one of those kids jumping up and down pointing at himself. I think it was because his shirt makes your eyes hurt ;) Anyway his pig won and he went up on stage to receive his prizes. Hilarious. He never ceases to amaze me.

I am fairly certain Ryan would have stayed at the fair overnight with the farm animals. This is just a pretend milking but he was interested none the less. He wanted to see them ALL and he even picked out a few he wanted to bring home.

It was an afternoon of fun memories and lots and lots of walking! 

Thanks to my parents for making it happen.